Birth Order Essay Disagreeing Example For Students

Birth Order Essay Disagreeing Does birth order have an effect on personality? Does being first born make people more responsible? If someone is the middle born child, are they going to be more rebellious? If people are last born are they more likely to be on television? Are first born children inconsiderate and selfish or reliable and highly motivated? These, and many other questions are being thoroughly studied by psychologists (Harrigan, 1992). In 1923, the renowned psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler, wrote that a persons position in the family leaves an undeniable stamp on his or her style of life (Marzollo, 1990). Research has shown that birth order oes indeed affect a child; however, it does not automatically shape personality. If it did, life would be much more predictable and a great deal less interesting (Marzollo, 1990). Yogi Bera, a famous baseball player, said Every now and then a reporter who thinks he is Freud asks me if being the youngest is why I made it (playing professional baseball). I almost alw ays say yes, but I dont think it had anything to do with it (Harrigan, 1992). Birth order doesnt explain everything about human behavior. Personality is affected by many different factors, such as heredity, family size, the spacing and sex f siblings, education, and upbringing. However, there is an awful lot of research and plain old law of averages supporting the affect of birth order on personality (Leman, 1985). There are four basic classifications of birth order: the oldest, the only, the middle, and the youngest. Each has its own set of advantages, as well as its own set of disadvantages. While the birth order factor isnt always exact, it does give many clues about why people are the way they are (Leman, 1985). If there is one word that describes first born children it would be perfectionist (Harrigan, 1992). First born children end to be high achievers in whatever they do. Some traits customarily used to label first born children include reliable, conscientious, list maker, well organized, critical, serious, scholarly (Leman, 1985), self-assured, good leadership ability, eager to please, and nurturing (Brazelton, 1994). Also, first born children seem to have a heightened sense of right and wrong. It is common in most books about birth order that first born children get more press than only, middle, and youngest children. This can be explained by the fact that the first born child is typically the success story in the family. They are he ones that are extremely driven to succeed in high achievement fields such as science, medicine, or law (Leman, 1985). For example, of the first twenty-three astronauts sent into outer space, twenty-one were first born or their close cousin, the only child, which we w ill discuss later on. In fact, all seven astronauts in the original Mercury program were first born children (Leman, 1985). Also, first born children tend to choose careers that involve leadership. For example, fifty-two percent of all U. S. presidents were first-borns (Lanning, 1991). Researchers say that, in general, first born children tend o have higher IQs than younger siblings. This is not because they start off more intelligent, but because of the amount of attention new parents give to their first child (Marzollo, 1990). Experts claim that a first borns will to succeed begins in infancy (Lanning, 1991). The extraordinary love affair that many new parents have with their first child leads to the kind of intensity that can probably never be repeated with a younger child. In the first few weeks, a new parent imitates the babys gestures in a playful game. A rhythm is established by mimicry of vocalizations, motions, and smiles. Think what his cycle of action-reaction might mean to an infant: Im pretty powerful, arent I? Everything I do is copied by someone who cares about me . After a couple of weeks of game playing the infant develops a sense of I recognize you! (Brazelton, 1994). This special parent-child interaction helps to instill a deep sense of self-worth in first born children. In short, the parents put their first born child on a pedestal or throne. Also, new parents are convinced that their child is the cleverest child in the world when he or she rolls over or says Mama or Dada (Jabs, 1987). Even though the child is a baby it an still sense the profound sense of enthusiasm. So, first borns want to maintain their parents attention and approval (Lanning, 1991). This is when the arrival of a second child is often a crisis for the first child. They are knocked off their pedestal by the baby (Leman, 1989). They are no longer the center of mom and dads attention. This often causes them to become resentful toward their younger sibling. To reclaim the position at the center of their parents attention, he or she will try imitating the baby. When the first child realizes that his or her parents frown upon a two-year-old who wants bottle or a three-year-old who needs a diaper, he or she decides to aid his or her parents in caring for the younger child (Jabs, 1987). Parents usually tend to reinforce the older childs decision to be more adult by expecting him or her to set a good example for the younger child. These experiences help to make the first born a natural leader. However, first borns are sometimes so preoccupied with being good and doing things right that they forget how to enjoy life and be a kid (Jabs, 1987). Along with being the first child comes pressure. Each achievement becomes a miracle in a new parents eyes. However, when a mistake occurs it is viewed as an enormous failure in the childs eyes because their parents werent ecstatic, and so the child goes to enormous lengths to make his or her parents happy with their performance. Some parents may also burden the child with their own unfulfilled dreams and with setting the standard for the younger children (Brazelton, 1994). Norval D. Glenn, Ph. D. , professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin, explains that firstborns often suffer from pseudomaturity. They may act grown-up throughout childhood, but because their role models are grown-ups rather than lder siblings, they may tend to reject the role of leader in early adulthood (Marzollo, 1990). Also, a firstborn is not always the most gracious receiver of criticism. An adults constant criticism of his or her performance may cause the child to become a worried perfectionist. They m ay come to fear making mistakes before eyes that he or she feels are always watching them. First born children may also come to hate any kind of criticism because it emphasizes the faults that he or she is trying to overcome (Marzollo, 1990). The first born child does not have unlimited time to view himself as the hild in the relationship with parents. When a sibling arrives, he or she tends to eliminate the view of himself or herself as a child and he or she struggles to be parental (Forer, 1969). In The Shooting An Elephant, George Orwell Describes An Internal EssayAny number of life-styles can appear, but they all play off the first born (Leman, 1985). He or she may try to imitate the first-borns behavior. If they feel that they cant match up, they may go off in another direction, looking for their identity, often in the exact opposite of that taken by his or her older sibling. The general conclusion of all research tudies done on birth order is that second borns will probably be somewhat the opposite of first born children (Leman, 1985). In general, middle born children suffer from an identity cris is. They are always striving to be different from their older and younger siblings. Middle children feel that they are born too late to get the privileges and special treatment that firstborns seem to inherit by right and born too early to enjoy the relaxing of the disciplinary reins, which is sometimes translated as getting away with murder (Marzollo, 1990). Neither the achiever nor the baby, the middle child may feel that he r she has no particular role in the family. They may look outside the family to define themselves. This is why friends become very important to middle children (Marzollo, 1990). Middle children search to find their own identity and define their personality. Because middle children have to fight for their parents attention, they become highly competitive. This generally makes middle children more successful in sports. Lacking the benefit of the exceptions parents make for their first borns and last borns, middle children may learn to negotiate, to compromise, and to give and take, valuable skills that will elp them succeed (Marzollo, 1990). They can become effective managers and leaders because they are good listeners and can cope with varying points of view. Also, experts have found that because middle children have had to struggle for more things than their siblings they are better prepared for real life. One big plus for middle children is a well developed sense of empathy because they know what its like to be younger and older. However, all the competing and negotiating may cause middle children to have an overall low self esteem and a self-deprecating attitude (Marzoll o, 1990). Nevertheless, middle children ave many advantages. They can learn from the older sibling but can also regress to be like the younger one, doubling their learning opportunities. Yet, they may also have many mood swings between grown-up and baby-like behavior, especially during the teen age years (Brazelton, 1994). Leman (1989) says to Remember, the average teenager has only two emotional outbursts per year. The problem is they last about six months each. Because slightly more than one third of American families today have only two children, many parents find themselves thinking in terms of the first born and second born. Middle and second born hildren share many of the same characteristics. Like the middle child, the second-born is likely to search for ways to be different from the first-born child (Marzollo, 1990). Dr. Kidwell says, Problems arise when a family has very rigid expectations. If the only thing that matters is straight As and the first kid is doing that, the middle kid has a profound dilemma. He or she needs something else to be known for (Jabs, 1987, p. 29). Some famous middle and second children who have found their own identity include Bea Arthur (actress), Glenn Close (actress), Matt Dillon (actor), Linda Evans (actress), Jessica Lange (actress), Cyndi Lauper (singer), Tom Selleck (actor), Mary Decker Slaney (runner), Richard Nixon (president), Princess Diana (British royalty), George Burns (comedian), Bob Hope (comedian) (Jabs, 1 987; Marzollo, 1990). If a group of psychologists randomly picked out ten youngest born children, chances are that nine of them would have these characteristics: manipulative, charming, blames others, shows off, people person, good salesperson, precocious, engaging, and sometimes spoiled (Leman, 1985). By the time the youngest child is born, his or her parents have become veterans in the field of child care (Lanning, 991). They are more experienced and confident in their parenting practices, and so they often decide to let the last born enjoy childhood as long as they can (Marzollo, 1990). This is why youngest children tend to be more pampered than older siblings. The youngest or baby of the family is often given an extra dose of affection and attention, as well as an occasional exception from the rules (Marzollo, 1990). This extremely positive upbringing helps to contribute to the youngest childs fun-loving, affectionate, and persuasive behavior (Marzollo, 1990). The youngest child can grow up to feel the most tre asured, and the ost nurtured of all (Brazelton, 1994). Also, without the pressure of a younger sibling gaining from behind, the youngest may grow up easy going and carefree (Jabs, 1987). However, life isnt all fun and games for the family baby. The endless praise of last born children may leave them feeling that their families do not take them seriously (Marzollo, 1990). For instance, a common youngest child remark would be, If I get upset or try to state my opinion, nobody takes me seriously. To them, Im the baby. They think I dont know a whole lot, (Lanning, 1991). Youngest children often have feelings of insecurity r long periods of self-doubt (Lanning, 1991). For example, a youngest child grows up being coddled one minute as a darling little baby, but the next minute shes compared unfavorably with an older sibling. He or she is often unfairly compared with older and stronger siblings. According to Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M. D. , the self-image of the youngest child may become confused (Lanning, 1991). As a result of conflicting experiences, youngest children can be extremely self-confident in someways and insecure in others (Leman, 1985). For the most part, youngest children learn to cope with the problems of self-doubt. In fact, youngest children often go on to become quite successful, thanks in part to their originality and determination to prove themselves to the world (Lanning, 1991). Often, they express their unique view of the world through the visual or literary arts. People-pleasing fields, such as art, comedy, entertainment and sales are full of youngest children (Lanning, 1991). Some examples of famous youngest children include Ronald Reagan (president, actor), Eddie Murphy (comedian), Paul Newman (actor), Mary Lou Retton (gymnast), Billy Crystal (comedian), Yogi Bera (baseball player), Ted Kennedy (politician), and Kevin Leman (psychologist)